My Man Burt

This is my boyfriend Burt

I just wish I knew the secret to his soft kissable lips!

I forgot it in my pocket!

Every girl has been through the tragic event of finding their lip chap in the pocket of their jeans.....freshly cleaned jeans.

You pull off the lid and you're horrified to find just what you were afraid of... soggy lip chap.

Do you still use it? Do you simply wipe off the excess water and get on with your life? Or do you throw a hissy fit and toss it in the garbage, ready to mope for the remainder of the day.

I continue to use it. Even though it may smell slightly like detergent and doesn't work for the first few applications, It pains me to think about wasting anything. So in my opinion - give the chap another chance, maybe cut off the tip or let your friends use it for the first applications so that they wipe off all the grossness. Don't throw out your lip balm because there's kids in africa with chapped lips who can't afford the pleasure of soft comfortable lips. Don't be wasteful.

Can boys wear lip balm?

Okay boys, please let me know....

Do you guys wear lip balm too? I mean you HAVE to get chapped lips - It can't just be girls. However, I've never seen a boy use it or buy it....only turn the bottom dial to farr...(See when the chap hits the cap)

Are you guys embarrassed? It feels really nice I promise and there really is no tint to it if that's what you're worried about.

So I say just do it! stand apart from the crowd and soften those lips of yours!

When the chap hits the cap

I hate it, I mean ABSOLUTELY hate it when someone grabs my lip chap and turns the bottom to raise the lip chap, raising it so much that it smushes on the top of the cap.

#1. That is a huge waste of the lip chap because now a lot of it is stuck in the lid and impossible to get at with my chubby fingers. Even if i did get it out some how, maybe with a popsicle stick or toothpick, I would still have to rub all the chunks I scoop out on my lips at that very moment because it's impossible to simply just put it back on the stick of chap.

#2. Now the top of the chap stick is bumpy. Before when it was fresh and new, it would nicely and comfortably rub on the surface of my lips. Nice and Smooth. After the chap ruiner ruins my chap, its uncomfortable to apply the lip chap and chunks fall off on my lips.

Note: If you use/play/take/touch/hold someone's lip chap - don't eff around with the dial on the bottom or there will be trouble.

My Burt's Bees Lip Balm I have taken out of my purse is perfect. I cringe to think that in just a matter of time, someone will see it in my bag and think of turning the bottom dial. This infuriates me actually.

So please, to all who read this: If you see the balm in my bag, you may use it - I'm no germ-a-phobe so I'm being generous here. When you use it, gently take off the lid, raise the balm to your lips and lightly rub on the surface - making sure not to press too hard of course. THEN take the cap (It's probably in your left hand right now) and put it on the tube. DO NOT do this quickly - you could miss your target and crease the chap with the sides of the lid. Cover with care, then put it back where you found it or even toss it back to me. This is how you should treat everyone's chap and maybe they will treat yours with as much respect.

Burt's Bees Honey Lip Balm

Today in 2009, scientists all over the world contemplate the disappearance and shortage of the little shit heads we like to call bees. Sure we all hate them, they hover over our food, drown in our drinks and force us into seriously embarrassing moments as we run, swat and squeal in public when they fly into our faces. However, I have made a seriously shocking discovery as today I reached into my purse to grab something to relieve my chapped lips and pulled out my Burts Bees Lip Balm.

Then it comes to me!

Of COURSE the world is experiencing a shortage of bees when this so called Burt is using all of them in his products! What a inhumane and selfish man Burt is. However, I will step out of the crowd to stand up for the rights of nature. I will be writing a strongly worded letter.